Les Blog

Dateline Portland, Oregon — In what many consider a startling turn of events, fermentation proceeded apace today. According to documents and other data obtained by the New York Times and loaned to this blog, the Merlot has slimmed down approximately 1 brix, while yeasts within the Franc have gone on a comparative binge, gorging themselves nearly 1.5 brix.

A Les Garagiste official close to the bubbling mass, who requested anonymity so he could make up anything he wanted, said the Administration had also added 1g/liter tartaric to the Merlot “so we don’t end up fighting them over here,” and to perk the must up a bit. The slightly reeling factotum also disclosed that recent internal Justice Department memos had cleared the Administration to add another 1g/liter tartaric at a future time, without consent of Congress or the must in question.

Across the Mall, the Franc continued to bubble its way to freedom, but key Senate staffers have reported a slightly disturbing whiff of VA, or volatile acidity, in the must over the last 2 days. Punching down seems to take care of it, they are quick to say, but the Capitol remains on Yellow Alert pending further CO2 production to cover the cap.